137 Outrageously Funny Stupid Puns For Your Next Laugh

Ready for a pun-tastic adventure that’ll tickle your funny bone? Hold onto your hats, folks; it’s about to get pun-derful!

Why read about puns?

Because laughter is the best medicine, and a good pun is the perfect dose.

So, let’s get punny and have some fun!

Laugh Out Loud with Stupid One-Liner Puns

– I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.

– The scarecrow won an award because he was outstanding in his field.

– I’m reading a book on anti-gravity; it’s impossible to put down.

– I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.

– Sewing is a hobby I can really get behind.

– Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

– She had a photographic memory but never developed it.

– The math book is always sad; it’s full of problems.

– The ocean waved to the shore and said nothing.

– Santa’s little helpers are known as subordinate Clauses.

– The car’s engine got tired and took a brake.

– I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, then it dawned on me.

– The calendar’s days are numbered.

– Cashews always sound a bit nutty.

– A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

– The frog’s car got toad away.

– The clock’s favorite time is tick-tock.

– The battery was given a charge for assault.

– The cat on the computer wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.

– The bicycle couldn’t stand up by itself; it was two-tired.

Stupid Puns: So Bad, They’re Hilarious!

– I’m reading a book on anti-gravity; it’s impossible to put down.

– Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

– I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.

– The scarecrow won an award because he was outstanding in his field.

– I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

– I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

– I’m friends with all the letters of the alphabet, but I can’t trust J. He always seems a little bit shady.

– My friend’s bakery burned down last night. His business is toast.

– I used to be a golfer, but I found it was just a hole in one.

– I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang, but then it came back to me.

– The bicycle couldn’t stand up by itself; it was two-tired.

– I’ve started investing in stocks: beef, chicken, and vegetable. One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.

– I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

– The algebra teacher confiscated a student’s rubber band ball. It was too much of a distraction.

– When the ocean waves, do they say hello or sea you later?

– I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”

– Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

– I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

– I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.

– Santa’s little helpers are also known as subordinate clauses.

Stupid Puns That Are Pun-derfully Misleading

– A pun on the bank left everyone in the same boat.

– Time flies like an arrow—fruit flies like bananas.

– The duck said “put it on my bill” at dinner.

– Fishing for compliments really gets under the sea.

– The wind told me to set off, so I did.

– The carpenter nailed it, but too many got bored.

– A knotty problem unraveled at the wrong moment.

– The book on anti-gravity was impossible to put down.

– The light went out during the dramatic read.

– The baker kneaded dough but couldn’t rise to the occasion.

– A close shave can leave a lasting impression.

– The farmer found it hard to be outstanding in his field.

– The musician couldn’t find the right note, so he had to scale back.

– The baker whipped up a storm but got no bread.

– The reflection in the mirror really saw things differently.

– The magician’s trick vanished until it reappeared!

– A stone found the peace it always took for granted.

– The gardener had a good thyme, planting flowers.

– Playing cards in the wild can lead to a full house.

– The architect’s building had a lot of character, but no plot.

– The water was so calm, it was a real wave of tranquility.

20 Hilariously Stupid Puns for Your Instagram Captions

– I’m on a seafood diet—I see food, I eat it.

– Lettuce romaine friends forever.

– Don’t go bacon my heart.

– You butter believe it’s punny time!

– Olive you berry much.

– I donut care if you think these are silly.

– Feeling a little egg-stra today.

– This pic is nacho average post.

– You crack me up like an egg!

– Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

– I’m grapeful for this moment.

– Just a little cheesy smile for you.

– Life is gouda with friends like you.

– Don’t be latte, seize the day!

– It’s bean too long since we last met.

– I’m soy into you.

– Pawsitively the best day ever.

– Meow you doin’?

– I’m feline good today.

– You’re the apple of my pie.

Stupid Puns: A Pun-derful Way to Make You Groan

– I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough—so I kneaded a change in my life!

– I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

– I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.

– The mathematician’s plants stopped growing, and he realized he didn’t have enough square roots!

– I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn’t have enough patients!

– Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint!

– I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough, but now I’m just loafing around!

– I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop crashing!

– I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist was everywhere!

– I wanted to learn to play the guitar, but I couldn’t find the right chord in the key of life!

– The scarecrow won an award because he was outstanding in his field!

– I made a pun about a broken pencil, but it was pointless.

– I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands!

– I broke my computer because I had a hard drive and could not find the right tab!

– The other day, I found a doner shop that was out of business. Turns out, they couldn’t make a good wrap!

– I suffer from kleptomania, but I say, “borrowing” to make it sound more pun-derful!

– I once had a friend who was a barber, but he couldn’t cut it; he kept getting tangled up!

– I wanted to be a doctor, but I figured I couldn’t handle the hemoglobin!

– A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two-tired!

– I’m terrible at math, but I’m great at what I add up to being—a pun-derful person!

– The archaeologist couldn’t stop digging because he was in de-Nile about his obsession!

Laughably Ludicrous: Puns So Dumb, They’re a Work of Art

– It’s nacho business why I love cheesy puns.

– Let’s taco ’bout how punny you are.

– A pun a day keeps the dullness away.

– You butter stop with these witty puns.

– Lettuce celebrate the art of punning.

– I’m egg-cited for these egg-cellent puns.

– Don’t be a chicken, crack a pun!

– This is un-bread-ably punny.

– You’re the zest at making puns.

– Stop loafing around and make a pun.

– Puns are just how I roll, dough you know?

– It’s a pun-derful life, isn’t it?

– These puns are tearable, but I’m still laughing.

– Whey to go with that dairy funny pun.

– Puns are the wurst, but I relish them.

– Don’t wine about my puns, just grape it.

– I’m on cloud wine with these puns.

– You’ve got to be kitten me with those puns.

– Raining cats and puns around here.

– Don’t be a grumpkin, enjoy the puns.

Stupid Puns That Are Smart

– What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.

– I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

– Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

– I’m trying to organize a hide-and-seek marathon, but it’s really hard to find good players.

– I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.

– Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.

– I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

– I used to be a shoe salesman, but then it was sole-destroying work.

– A man just assaulted me with milk, cream, and butter. How dairy!

– I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.

– Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.

– I don’t trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.

– I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.

– I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

– Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.

– I gave all my dead batteries away today. Free of charge.

– I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me KitKat ads.

– I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

– I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

– Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.

Laugh Out Loud with Stupid Puns That Will Crack You Up

– I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. Now I just knead the puns.

– I made a pun about the weather, but it was just too cloudy for laughter.

– If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed? Sounds like a stupid pun to me!

– I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist opportunities are the worst stupid puns.

– When the potato asked the sweet potato for a date, was it a mash made in heaven?

– I wanted to take up origami, but I just can’t seem to fold under pressure!

– When I couldn’t figure out how to make a tissue dance, I just put a little boogie in it.

– I was going to tell a time-traveling pun, but you didn’t like it. Guess that’s future stupid puns.

– I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did!

– Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint with his stupid puns.

– I tried to make a pun about an elevator, but it was just an up-and-down situation.

– Finding a pun about cheese is really gouda, but mine fell flat. What a whey to go!

– When I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia, she whispered, “They’re right behind you…”

– When I don’t feel like exercising, I’m just too tire-d.

– I wanted to be a professional bowler, but I couldn’t strike it rich.

– I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised!

– I wanted to learn how to juggle, but I decided to give it up because it was over my head.

– I told my shoes I’d never walk in their footsteps, but they just won’t let me go toe-to-toe.

– I got fired from my job as a gardener because I couldn’t get to the root of the problem.

– Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He needed a little space, but that’s just a pun in orbit.

– Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field of stupid puns!
Stupid puns might not always be clever, but they can bring a smile to our faces. Their simplicity and playfulness remind us not to take life too seriously. So, the next time you hear a groan-worthy pun, just remember it’s all in good fun.